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Disorder 7: Rewind

A woman sees a man as her reflection in a mirror
Illustration by M. Reyes Fragueiro

This song, with lyrics by Jana Stiles, talks about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and highlights the intense fear of abandonment and the resultant emotional turmoil: the need for external validation, feelings of isolation and misunderstanding when emotions aren't acknowledged.

This struggle leads to self-destructive tendencies and a pervasive sense of hopelessness. Despite this darkness, the lyrics also convey a yearning for healing and self-acceptance, suggesting a glimmer of hope for a more balanced and meaningful life.


I'll tell you once
My biggest fear
Is abandonment
Be Cliche
Black. White, No Gray
Pretend you're okay
Tonight isolate

No time to sympathize
Here's the doc, he says:
Great she’s still alive
I told you I hate who I am
You'd rather watch
TV Programs

Validate me
Otherwise I
Think you hate me
worry rising
not surprising
Hide the sharp objects,
lock all the doors

Entire life flawed
Described vaguely
My experiences are not pleasant
Fear reaction
Cant trust anyone
Self-destructive with little remorse
Careless, hopeless enough to pay the Ultimate cost

Ignore the lies
Breathe and relax
Let yourself enjoy
Life for the first time.
I am not scary
I am toxic
Let’s rewind
Therapy symbols
Only we can understand
Healing with grounding
Fragile like glass beforehand