Disorders

Portada de Disorders, de Fear Of Missing Out
Artist: Fear Of Missing Out
Release Date: 4-9-2019
Genre: Metal

Available On

Tracklist

1. Disorder 4: Empty
2. Disorder 3: Holocaust
3. Disorder 2: The Veil
4. Disorder 1: Over-Controlling Demon
5. Disorder 5: Everlasting Omnent Souls
6. Disorder 7: Rewind
7. Disorder 6: Mindful
8. Bonus track: Disorder 2: Migas de Pan

Lyrics

Disorder 4: Empty

Inside, a hunger grows
Just closer to the prize
The pangs, no more a surprise

So dizzy cold and frail But,
it means I’m doing well

I am lying,
I’m lying to you

I’m doing well
my mind will tell
My body begs me to end this hell

To be thin
Fill this void within
This sense of con-trol is sin

Skinny, is all that I want to be
It’s become my one, true voice
This is not a choice
It’s an illusion of control that's screaming out
“You’re worth more hungry”, loud

Pretty, skinny, small
I’m supposed to stand tall
Can I be that strong
Trying to hold on

I swear on Ana’s words
On the reflection I see
I’ll fight until I’m free
From her binding tyranny

She has this voice that calls out my name
It pulls at me each day
And it tries to drive me insane

Hear me now
Ana listen
Because I won’t listen to you
No not any, anymore
I have won this war

Skinny, all I wanted to be
It became my one, true voice
This is not a choice
I had to fight and had to beat her and
I won this war and she is out




Dentro, crece el hambre
Más cerca del premio
Los dolores, ya no son una sorpresa
Muy mareado, frío y débil pero
significa que lo estoy haciendo bien
Estoy mintiendo,
Te estoy mintiendo
Lo estoy haciendo bien
Mi mente dirá
Mi cuerpo me ruega que acabe este infierno
Para estar delgado
Llena este vacío interior
Esta sensación de control es pecado
Delgado, es todo lo que quiero ser
Se ha convertido en mi única verdadera voz
Esto no es una elección
Es una ilusión de control que está gritando
“Vales más hambriento”, alto
Guapo, delgado, pequeño
Se supone que debo estar de pie
¿Puedo ser tan fuerte,
Intentando resistir?
Lo juro por las palabras de Ana
Por el reflejo que veo
Que lucharé hasta ser libre
De su obligatoria tiranía
Ella tiene esta voz que llama mi nombre
Que me atrae cada día
Y que intenta volverme loco
Escúchame ahora
Escucha Ana
Porque no voy a escucharte
No, ya no más
He ganado esta guerra
Delgado, todo lo que quería ser
Se convirtió en mi única verdadera voz
Esto no es una elección
Tuve que luchar y derrotarla
Gané esta guerra y ella ya no está

Disorder 3: Holocaust

Unrecognized,
I can tell,
My thoughts are victims.
Shameful eyes
Just see
Phantoms scavenge me.
I’m corpse
Nothing without lost
And I'm
The cage that holds
A living holocaust.

I've failed in my senses, yeah
And now fail to embrace myself.

When voices tell me I'm stolen,
When voices tell me I'm scared,
Why can't I rebuke?
Why just forsaken?
My one half truly admits
To be consumed by silence that kills me
And let me be
Holocaust
Ohhhh...
Where'll my distortions go?
If I won't befriend
The voices that
Claim to know.
Unrecognized,
I can tell
My thoughts are victims.

Don't tell me
I'm a broken piece;
I've been through more than a hundred degrees.
Don't tell me
To comprehend
That this overload has
Defined my end.

This a battle up and against myself
And to see right through this phase, your pride should
suffocate.
Mine is the shame that was confronted
By savage, fierce, fatal-figured disruptions.

These voices tell me I'm stolen,
These voices tell me I'm scared
And I can't rebuke nor forsake them...
My one half truly admits
To be consumed by silence that kills me,
Let me be
Holocaust

Disorder 2: The Veil

Lower the veil
Paint over the tulle
With plagiarized lacquers
Of their affectations

Pray to abrade
Through rotoscoped days
Wit) some lingering semblance...
Nervios exaltados
It soon becomes clear
That this confounding minstrel

Must come to an end
Come to end
When can it end?
Please (just) let this end
Just end

Pulling back the veil
Glance into the mirror
Hair, color and skin
Such a senseless portrayal
What can there be?
Everything else unseen

Please let this end
This sycophantic need
A performance on a razor’s edge
While the real slips away
While the real slips away
We were left in a room
No time for rehearsal
Put on this skin and
dance the dance until
One day the skin becomes your own
becomes your own

Days go by
The tighter it grows
But not how you thought
Suddenly so hard to breathe
It’s not how I thought it'd be

Won’t somebody please
Get this thing off of me

In a moment of desperation
I tried to peel away the mask

Bits of papier-mâché
and skin
Strands of yarn
and tufts of hair

I tried to scrape away
Saw dust and gangrene
But the skin beneath

Had gone away
And everything unseen
Had already decayed

Beneath
And now I have nothing
Beneath

Beneath
Nothing except
A mask

Disorder 1: Over-Controlling Demon

Welcome, my friend
To no man's land
A pristine battlefield where light and darkness face each
other
every day, every hour, every minute,
upon agreement of sweeping all blood under the carpet,
hide chaos underneath an order blanket.

I am trapped inside
the walls of a prison I have created (myself)
Giving a smile
reject the people who try to help me (out)

Haunted by doubts
That push me into a world of black or white
I'm starting to drown
Sinking in this mental quicksand

Trying to get perfection
Seduced by the swindle of control
Frozen by the damnation that I chose

Help me to fight
This over-controlling demon.
Don't let him drive my life.
I can't reach your hand
There's an abyss in the cracks in the pavement
and I am scared to jump.
I know my life is a mess
still, I'll rebuke you for every slightest mistake
sorry, I know it's not fair
I judge the others' behaviour 'cause I hate myself.

Count to three

(One, two, three)
and it's all right
Count to three
(One, two, three)
and it's all right
Count to three
(One, two, three)
but it's never right

Help me to fight
This over-controlling demon.
Don't let him drive my life.
You say that surety is a lie
I should stop using my mind (and) start using my eyes
Don't try to question my sight
But all I can see is the risk
of dying alone without someone beside me.

Just one more check

Disorder 5: Everlasting Omnent Souls

I'm ok
Thank you for asking
No one knows the pain
I hide within

Last night, you know
I was, laying in bed
Quietly, staring
My life playing out in front of me
What a mess

If I leave
How many tears
will roll for me,
say my name?
Please explain it to me.
How many footprints I've left?
How many secrets I've kept
or many scars

I have left
Please answer these questions of mine.

Remembering the names
In all silent prayers
Shackled lives of innocent souls
Here we are riding,
riding this wave in a death zone
Asking for patience I know
When your strength just let go
Don't be locked up or compelled to this world

Everlasting, omnent souls
(It's my life)
Everlasting omnent souls
(I claim it)
Set me free from this world
(I own it)

Break the shackles of depression
(I'll survive)

Sooner or later
We all stumble and fall
Hide in our rooms
Behind a smile
Don't give up this fight
You are not alone

Disorder 7: Rewind

Look
I'll tell you once
My biggest fear
Is abandonment
Be Cliche
Black. White, No Gray
Pretend you're okay
Tonight isolate

Whispers
No time to sympathize
Here's the doc, he says:
Great she’s still alive
Worse
I told you I hate who I am
You'd rather watch
TV Programs

Listen
Validate me
Otherwise I
Think you hate me
worry rising
not surprising
Intervention
Hide the sharp objects,
lock all the doors

Entire life flawed
Described vaguely
My experiences are not pleasant
Fear reaction
Cant trust anyone
Self-destructive with little remorse
Careless, hopeless enough to pay the Ultimate cost

Ignore the lies
Breathe and relax
Let yourself enjoy
Life for the first time.
I am not scary
I am toxic
Let’s rewind
Therapy symbols
Only we can understand
Healing with grounding
Fragile like glass beforehand

Disorder 6: Mindful

Everyday
My struggle is real
You see today
Death lurked at me
You see today
I have no fight left
This fight is mine
And mine alone

Substance is for me
a serene way out
I've called for help
But Silence followed
No helping hand

There's good and there's bad
Shall I cry
Or Just die

Hell or heaven
Playing out
Inside me
What now?

Help me
Save me
Save me
From this war

There's good and there is bad
There's good in all of us
We can't deny the fact that there is hope
We can't deny the fact it's pure survival

So tell me friend
whatever secrets you still hold
and how you have survived till now?

Who can understand
our minds, our way of thinking?
Can't the world see, what we are going through?

Tell me, do you understand?
Just tell me, I'm not alone in this hell hole, I find
myself?
Please you see, this fight is not mine alone.
It affects everyone, everyone, around me.

Shadows
That follow me around
Everywhere I go
Everywhere I can't escape
Sometimes can't tell,
reality, from real life
Fainted memories
Help me from my mind!

Bonus track: Disorder 2: Migas de Pan

Miedo,
silencio y ladrillos,
días de lluvia
mirando infinitos.

Te acercas
casi sin pasos;
te alejas,
apenas te he tocado.

Te duermes,
tan cerca, tan lejos..
Camino
No encuentro el camino
No encuentro el camino
No encuentro el camino
de mí hasta ti.

Quisiera un martillo, un paraguas,
puentes sencillos,
tal vez migas de pan
que indiquen por dónde te pierdo
los muros y el frío
se comen los huesos.

No encuentro el camino,
no hay puentes sencillos,
la lluvia y el frío,
tu miedo infinito.

Lejos de todo
busco tu mano;
un muro sin pasos
no hay camino...
camino hasta ti;
miedo en el cuerpo,

cerca, lejos
tú de mí.

Migas de pan.
Sin migas de pan.

No puedo parar.
No voy a parar hasta el puente
por dónde avanzar.
Avanzar...
sin parar.

Silencio
Ladrillos
Los huesos
El frío...
contigo,conmigo.

Miedo...
No puedo parar de avanzar,
para de soñar.

Miedo...
No quiero dejar de soñar,
jamás.

Migas de pan
diluyen el frío...
Tal vez.

Migas de pan
tejen el camino...
Tal vez.

Migas de pan
contigo, conmigo.
Soñar.

About Album

Metal progresivo/ambiental, con influencias de Tool, Tesseract, Metallica o Pain of Salvation. Las canciones se mueven en un rango muy amplio de registros, que permiten expresar la gran variedad de emociones necesarias para hablar sobre salud mental.

Cada canción habla sobre un trastorno mental diferente, y su letra está escrita en primera persona. Las ilustraciones del libreto, que acompañan cada tema, también están realizadas por personas con problemas de salud mental.

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